Getting Over You
I know you won’t see me anymore
And it hurts.
Next time will be different, I vow
As I fill the hole you left
Soothed by the thump, thump, thump of my shovel.
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This is my submission for this week’s Trifecta writing challenge, in which they asked us for exactly 33 words about love gone wrong. And we were not allowed to use any of the following words:
love
sad
tears
wept
heart
pain
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Image credit: nexusseven / PhotoXpress.com
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lovely words…
Thank you!
I get a sinister vibe from this-love can go wrong in many ways. The last line closes it brilliantly. Absolutely should be a top pick of the challenge. Great job and thank you for sharing this!
Aw, thanks so much for your great comment! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
You always do that! I read, read then BAM! Wait…what just happened?! Completely caught off guard. Brilliant.
Ha! I’m thrilled I caught you off guard. Thanks so much for your comment! 🙂
For me, that last line opened a whole new story to imagine – nicely done!
That’s definitely what I was going for. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! 🙂
Yowza! He shouldn’t have pissed her off. Nicely done… 🙂
No, he really shouldn’t have. Poor guy. Thank you! 🙂
What a surprise ending….which just about flew past me by the way a I’m new here…great job done!
Thank you so much, Bastet! I’m glad you enjoyed it. These 33 word challenges are so much fun. 🙂
Yes…I had fun with it too! 😀
Brilliant last line
33 Cleverly written words
Enjoyed
Ally:)
Thank you so much, Ally! 🙂
Ooooh… one shocker of an ending this was! Brilliantly done Suzanne!
Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
Ooooh. You got me! Fantastic twist, Suzanne!
Thanks Kymm! I’m not sure what it says about me that this was my first thought about love gone wrong… 😉
Love it!!
😀
Thank you!
Those last two lines-fantastic! It tied the ideas together wonderously.
Aw, thank you so much Renada! 🙂
This was really great 🙂 Love words that grant the eerie feeling yours gave. Really nice!!
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
I was all sad about the loss then you sucker punched me with the shovel thump. All that in 33 words….as always, amazing.
Thanks so much Deb! (And sorry about that sucker punch!) 😉
I didn’t see the ending coming and I love that about this piece. I started out feeling the hurt and sadness of love lost and ended up feeling like I was watching the movie “Misery” or like I seen a Black Widow spider. Amazing!
What a great compliment! Thank you, Donetta! 🙂
A hole with two meanings. Didn’t see the end coming after that emotional and pain-filled opening. Well done.
Thank you so much, Sarah Ann! 🙂
Love the ending, changes it all – clever take!
Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
I’d felt sadness for her…then the shovel-thumping came and now I want to know more 🙂
🙂 Glad I piqued your curiosity. Some people just aren’t good at relationships, I guess… 😉
I love the idea of burying past mistakes-and really trying to do better the next time! Excellent, Suzanne-in a delightfully sinister way;)
Aw, thanks Valerie! I love that you called it delightfully sinister! 😀
Ha–great comment from Valerie about burying past mistakes. The narrator definitely did that. Well done.
Yes, she sure did. 😉 Thank you!
Love the double-meaning of the thumping, not to mention the twisted twist at the end. I wonder what grave mistake s/he made (sorry, I couldn’t resist a terrible pun)! Awesome work!
LOL! I love your terrible pun! And thank you so much for your great comment! 🙂
(Un?)fortunately, Suzanne, my cup runneth over with them at times! 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great writing!
I cracked up. Awesome!
😀 Thanks Draug!
Just a reminder… never go gardening with your loved one…
Especially not in the dark. 😉
I was so wrapped up in her palpable grief that I never saw the end coming. (The stiff probably didn’t, either–haha!) What a killer last line! 😉 The matter-of-fact tone made it even more chilling. I wonder how many of his/her relationships have ended this way. Excellent work!
Aw, thanks so much for your great comment, Ivy! 🙂
Excellent and I, too was caught up in the grief that I didn’t see the ending coming. Great work, Suzanne!
Thank you so much, Momo! 🙂
YES! I don’t know why I’m celebrating this as much as I am, but I love it. Thanks for linking up.
LOL! I’m not sure why either, but I’m really glad you enjoyed it! 😀