Spoils of War


Spoils of War

Time slowed
Congealing like molasses in winter

Inside my head cotton balls gathered
Like moths to a dying flame

From the corner he watched
Black eyes piercing my soul
So it would match my heart

We waited there
As time coagulated around us

Me, listening to the beat of my heart
Him, watching my chest rise and fall

And I wondered if I’d miss my heart

Time lurched
Reanimated, like the black-eyed beast in the corner
It quickened its pace

My heart struggled to keep up in a race it could not win
Desperate, it fluttered for a moment,
Magnificent in its struggle, then wilted and lay still

As time slipped into obscurity
The slayer of hearts laid claim to my soul.


This is my submission for this week’s speakeasy challenge. This week, we had to use the following sentence anywhere in our post: It fluttered for a moment, magnificent in its struggle, then wilted and lay still.

We also had to make some sort of reference to the following painting by John James Audubon:


 Image credit: Culpeo-Fox @ deviantART


35 thoughts on “Spoils of War

  1. I love your word choices- particularly ‘coagulating’ and ‘congealing’ used with time- these verbs made me think of spilled blood (and eventual death.)

  2. oh, “that guy”?
    That guy is more addictive than drugs or booze, worse than an unlocked candy store.
    Your words painted that moment where you give in to the feelings even if you know that “you might miss your heart”.
    What a beautiful, evocative line, Suzanne.

    (I love the look of your blog lately)

  3. Wow! You gave me goosebumps. This was a positively chilling take on the prompt. This slayer is so menacing and malignant, you’ve got me watching the corner of the room. I really enjoyed this one.

    1. Yay! I’m thrilled this gave you goosebumps. I was aiming for chilling/disturbing, so I’m glad I met my mark. Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

  4. Quite poetic. I love the image of your first line, Suzanne. As I read, I wondered what you would do with ‘the line’… I wasn’t disappointed.

  5. Gorgeous! “And I wondered if I’d miss my heart” – I love the way this makes her seem one step removed from her own emotions, like she’s watching someone else in her skin.Very cool.

  6. I love this so much there is no way to even begin to explain why I love it so much. 😉
    Time “coagulat[ing],” “reanimat[tion],” “slayer of hearts” – there are so many phrases to love here.

  7. Super ending. As I read, I thought great writing but I don’t know if I like the analogy being used. When you finished I decided. I like it.

  8. Wow, this is fantastic! I really loved time coagulating and the molasses in winter. The image you picked for this post was perfect, too. I wish I could write this well. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s