Lost Girl


Lost Girl

Inside the broken machinery of me
Your absence is a gaping wound
Leaking oil and tears.

In dreams, I sometimes catch a glimpse of you
And happiness consumes me
Until I see my failure
In blue eyes
So much like mine.


This is my response to this week’s gargleblaster,
over at yeah write, where you have to answer a
question in exactly 42 words.

Click the badge to find out more about this
awesome challenge.


Image credit: MarcelaBolivar @ deviantART

59 thoughts on “Lost Girl

  1. I have to wonder if she is looking in her child’s eyes when she says,
    “Until I see my failure
    In blue eyes
    So much like mine.”

  2. The imagery you painted to define the emotion, and paired with that picture, absolutely perfect! It was so well written and, for lack of a better word, so smooth, that the wrenching emotion is a stark, yet excellent, contrast.

  3. The power of these words is so strong that I am reading them over and over again. The ‘blue eyes so much like mine’ hits you in the gut when you read it. So, so vivid. One of my faves this week!

    1. Thanks Ted! I’m glad you read it too. I found the image after I wrote this and it was like finding the artistic soulmate for my poem. 🙂

  4. Strong, and sad. Why do we let our emotions dictate to us. Win vs failure. To create another being is not a failure whatever the circumstances, in my opinion anyway. Nice to see lots of comment on this well written piece.

    1. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Claudette. I think you’re absolutely right, but it’s amazing how much we internalize when things go wrong.

  5. Man o man, this split me right in half. The thing about pain is I know I can handle it if someone tells me how long it will last, but with lost love you just never know.

  6. Oh man, those eyes! Love this, Suzanne. Especially because I know you wrote something other than what I’m reading. < 3

  7. I love your choices of words! It totally changed the emotions to what I thought I should be feeling. Something about the robotic(ness?) of it all. Packs a punch!

  8. Think it’s important that people take the time to present their words so that even without reading it looks good i.e. you want to read it. This is both good and haunting.

  9. I really like the juxtaposition you begin with: a machine, but a machine that can be wounded, not just broken. It adds another layer to the story of heartbreak.

  10. Damn, Suzanne, this is beyond good. So much loss and grief here. Just wonderful. I wish I’d written it. 🙂

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