Troubled
Daylight creeps in
With long glowing fingers
Traces the contours of your face
And shines a light on my equivocation.
I float inside the silence that is poured
By these suspended moments
Trace the roads not taken
With weathered hands
And wonder.
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Linking up with the summer series supergrid
over at yeah write. My piece is a 42-word
gargleblaster, inspired by this week’s optional
question prompt.
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Image credit: Lostinmymind89 @ deviantART
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“trace the roads not taken”
I fell in love with that line.
(Which is a good way to start a Monday. 🙂 )
Aw, thanks so much, Kir! 🙂
Wonderful choice of words, Suzanne , thank you for this beautiful poem.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Ranu! 🙂
That second stanza is SO GORGEOUS, I love the imagery and the way you turned your phrases
Aw, thanks Shannon! 🙂
Oh, I love this, Suzanne! It is so delicate and beautiful and moving. The last line adds a whole other layer to it, really taking it deeper.
Thanks for your great comment, Silverleaf! 🙂
I love this so much! It’s time for me to get back to the challenges!
Thank you so much! And yes, you definitely should! 🙂
Loove the poem. It’s beautifully moving and haunts the creative spirit:)
Thank you for your lovely comment! 🙂
Beautiful poem, Suzanne! I especially liked the weathered hands.
Thanks Sue! 🙂
Simply beautiful.
Aw, thank you! 🙂
“Daylight creeps…fingers” superb imagery & show rather than tell. I also like the reflective nature you use the hand metaphor again in para 2. Enjoyed this one a lot!
Thank you for your thoughtful comment! I’m glad you picked up on my use of repetition. 🙂
Like the whole poem, “daylight creeps in
With long glowing fingers – absolute favorite!
Thank you so much! 🙂
“Daylight creeps in with long glowing fingers” is by far my favourite line! Is your protagonist a ghost coming back to see a loved one? Or did I read it completely wrong? Anyway, the quality of writing is superb. Congrats!
Thanks for your great comment, DragonSpark! 🙂 While I really like your interpretation, when I wrote it I was thinking of someone reflecting on their relationship and whether they chose the right path.
Wow. Just. Wow. You captured the moment so perfectly that I am transfixed.
Aw, thank you so much, Tina! 🙂
Oh I love the point of view here. Very eerie and captivating!
Thanks Yeshu! I’m really glad you liked it. 🙂
“…I float inside the silence that is poured
By these suspended moments…” So life-like!
“Trace the roads not taken…” that reminded me of “The Road Not Taken” by R. Frost.
Thanks for your lovely comment! Yes, I was definitely paying homage to Frost when I chose that line. I’m glad you picked up on that. 🙂
Love this!
Thank you! 🙂
“Equivocation” is one of those fabulous words that captures a complex thought into a single word. I love how it sits in the middle and anchors this poem.
This is almost exactly what I was going to say, but cynkingfeeling said it so much better, so ditto 🙂
😀
Thank you!
It took me a while to find the right word, so I’m really happy you commented on it! 🙂
Haunting and beautiful.
I also love the way your phrasing draws an “arrow” on the page. Makes me wonder what’s on that side of the directed sign. Is it pointing to Stay or Go? SO good!
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment! I’m glad you noticed the form – it took some work to get that shape right. 🙂
Your words paint a phenominal picture of doubt. And I think the shape of the text is the answer whenever there is any doubt.
Thank you for your awesome comment! Doubt is exactly what I was trying to portray – so glad you saw that. 🙂
These early summer mornings can awake me from a dream state filled with questions and anxiety. Your piece captures that feeling.
Thank you so much, Kathy! I’m glad you felt what I was trying to say. 🙂
Love the imagery in this, Suzanne. The language is powerful and vivid. Fantastic!
Aw, thank you so much! 🙂
This is so beautiful! (visually and linguistically) I can’t stop reading it. My favorite line: “traces the contours of your face.” I envision the ghost of a past relationship visiting in my sleep…
Aw, thank you so much for your lovely comment! 🙂
Delicate, beautiful 🙂
Thank you, Esther! 🙂