Coda

Bat_in_a_Cave_by_mirroreyesserval

Coda 

“It’s a bat,” I whispered.

“It’s nothing,” you said. “Go back to sleep.”

In truth, it was a wake-up call.

“It’s dying,” I said.

“Things die,” you replied.

The bat struggled. I intervened.

“It’s over,” I said.

And you.

You were silent.

 


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Image credit: mirroreyesserval @ deviantART

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39 thoughts on “Coda

  1. This is definitely a case of seeing what you didn’t write. I would like to read the ending of this relationship from the other’s POV. What was s/he thinking in the silence? Very well, and sadly, told.

      1. I miss Speakeasy, too! I haven’t been participating for many reasons… mostly my schedule and inability to commit the hours needed to read all the other responses. I’ve avoided checking out the prompts so I won’t be tempted, haha 🙂

  2. I truly love your writing, Suzanne. This is perfect — so many emotional responses emerge in the reader without your characters having to talk about any of them: fear, sympathy, disgust, anger (at the non-believer).

  3. What are the chances that we both thought of bats!? I love this piece, Suzanne. There is so much meaning, so much happening there, yet you reveal it subtly as always. Love that!

  4. The repetition of the word you at the end felt like the narrator was in my face. The title is my favorite detail of your piece — reinforcing that the relationship and the bat’s life are finished and highlighting the rhythm of the language. Most excellent.

  5. Two different stories, nailed with the precision of a bat in flight. But a person who can sleep with a bat in the room needs to sleep alone, don’t you think?

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