Did you know that when you use more words than necessary to express something (like blowing wind or frozen ice), you are committing a pleonasm, which is the fancy Greek way of saying you’re being redundant?
Redundancy in writing sounds like a simple thing to spot — and sometimes it is. But some types of redundancy can be tricky to identify, and that’s because we tend to speak in expressions in English, so redundant phrases become little package deals, like a true fact or a free gift. (I hate to break it to you, but if it’s not free, you’re doing gifts wrong.)
Over at Grammar Ghoul Press, we host two weekly writing challenges, both with word limits. When you only have 750 (or 13!) words in which to tell a story, every word counts. Cutting redundancy from your writing can free up some of those precious words and help keep your writing sharp. So let’s look at how redundancy creeps into our writing, and how to eliminate it when it does. In each example, the first sentence contains redundancies, which have been removed or replaced in the second.
Example 1
- The alien invaders had only one mission: to completely eradicate the human race.
- The alien invaders had one mission: to eradicate the human race.
Example 2
- In spite of the fact that they were few in number, the aliens possessed superior technology.
- Although they were few, the aliens possessed superior technology.
Example 3
- It was an unexpected surprise when the Guardians of the Galaxy turned up at exactly the same time.
- It was a surprise when the Guardians of the Galaxy turned up at the same time.
Example 4
- It is my personal opinion that the invasion came at a time when humanity was at an interstellar crossroads.
- It is my opinion that the invasion happened when humanity was at an interstellar crossroads.
Sometimes, you might want to keep the redundancy because it’s a widely accepted idiom (like safe haven), or because you want to demonstrate emphasis. For example:
- “If captured, it is absolutely essential that you keep your mouths shut,” said Snortgut, the alien commander. “All six of them.”
So the key with redundancy is to be aware of it, and to make informed decisions about when to use it and when to cut it.
If you’d like to learn more, here are a few resources that discuss redundancy (and how to avoid it) in more detail:
- 50 Redundant Phrases to Avoid
- Writing Concise Sentences
- Pleonasms or Tautological Redundancies
- University of Bristol — Improve Your Writing (includes pleonasm exercise)
Image credit: arneipia @ deviantART
Dear Suzanne, thank you so much for this lesson. 🙂
You’re very welcome, Ranu! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. 🙂
I’m glad the Guardians won; it would be awfully humiliated to be taken over by an alien named Snortgut.
Wouldn’t it though? 🙂
Great stuff, Suzanne. At GGP, I often end up reading and re-reading, looking for the “fat” in the text so I can pare it down and stay under the word count. I’ll be looking for such examples to keep the writing clean in the future. This was really helpful.
Thanks Eric! I think flash fiction, especially when you’re constrained by a word count below 1000, is such a great teaching tool for writers. It helps you see what’s really vital to your story and what isn’t, which you can then apply to longer works as well.
Thanks for the reminder; I’m all for cutting fat.
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading and commenting, Mary! 🙂
Hi Suzanne! I scheduled this article as a guest post with the usual set up (with credit/bio/and a link back to your blog–I also kept the link to Grammar Ghoul). I modified the title to “Get Rid of Repetition: Pleonasms in Your Writing” to make it a bit more SEO friendly. I hope that’s ok with you. It’s set for the morning of June 17th. I look forward to my readers checking out your website again. : )
-Ryan
Hi Ryan! Thanks for the heads up. No worries about modifying the title — I tend to opt in favour of fun instead of SEO-friendly. Hope your readers enjoy my article! 🙂
I have no doubt they will. : ) You do great work.
This is t.e.r.r.i.f.i.c. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
You are welcome.
can’t repetition make writing more interesting? i’m thinking metaphors but perhaps they’re not redundancy
Repetition definitely has its place. The key is to be aware of when you’re being repetitive – that way you can do it deliberately when it lends itself to the text (in metaphors or to balance parallelisms, for example), and remove it when it doesn’t.