Trifextra: Countdown

rocketship3

Countdown

Five little astronauts tucked in tight.
Four minutes left until they reach the night.

Three stars twinkle overhead.
Two little astronauts rest their heads.

One by one they fall asleep,
to slumber deep.

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This is my submission for this weekend’s Trifextra challenge in which we had to write a  children’s bedtime story in exactly 33 words.

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Image credit: clipartlord.com

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32 thoughts on “Trifextra: Countdown

  1. Lovely little rhyme. Is your last line short a word or two? The metre seems short. Oh hang on 33 words isn’t it. Ok. There answered my own question. Have a good day.

  2. That is a very smart story Suzanne. Countdown, counting and astronauts – everything that is new and exciting for a child. I would have definitely enjoyed this as a child (I did as an adult too)!

  3. I really like this! You should definitely do a version with the correct number of words at the end when the challenge is over. Oh, man, how editing down to 33 words can be a challenge. If you lengthen this, it would probably make a nice little bedtime story. Just sayin’. 😉
    -Alicia Audrey

  4. I love this Suzanne! Amy was completely fascinated with space as a little girl. I put those glow in the dark stars, and moon on her ceiling so she could fall asleep dreaming of becoming an astronaut:) Just a wonderful 33 words here!

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