Coda
“It’s a bat,” I whispered.
“It’s nothing,” you said. “Go back to sleep.”
In truth, it was a wake-up call.
“It’s dying,” I said.
“Things die,” you replied.
The bat struggled. I intervened.
“It’s over,” I said.
And you.
You were silent.
Think you have the answer to the ultimate question?
Come check out this week’s gargleblaster over at yeah write and give your 42 words a whirl.
Image credit: mirroreyesserval @ deviantART
Apoplectic Apostrophes 
I don’t think I have the answer to the ultimate question.
🙂 That’s okay.
Aww, poor little bat…
I know, right?
You totally nailed this Suzanne! Love the double entendre.
Thanks Stacie! 🙂
I agree with Stacie. Really good writing!
Aw, thanks Susan! 🙂
I title nailed you piece at the right spot.
*your
🙂
Thank you so much!
This is definitely a case of seeing what you didn’t write. I would like to read the ending of this relationship from the other’s POV. What was s/he thinking in the silence? Very well, and sadly, told.
Thank you, Sarah Ann! I suspect the other POV would be quite different.
Nicely done! It’s a full story that says more than the 42 words you used…
Thanks Janna!
Hey – why aren’t you back at the speakeasy? I miss you. 🙂
I miss Speakeasy, too! I haven’t been participating for many reasons… mostly my schedule and inability to commit the hours needed to read all the other responses. I’ve avoided checking out the prompts so I won’t be tempted, haha 🙂
‘I intervened’
Tell that to the coppers, lady.
lol This was great, Suzanne!
I’m not talking to those coppers without a lawyer. 😉
Thanks Kymm!
I truly love your writing, Suzanne. This is perfect — so many emotional responses emerge in the reader without your characters having to talk about any of them: fear, sympathy, disgust, anger (at the non-believer).
Aw, thanks Meg! I feel the same about your writing. 🙂
“In truth, it was a wake-up call.” Perfect!
Thanks Karen! It’s funny how (and when) those wake-up calls happen, isn’t it?
Great use of metaphor. Well done.
Thank you so much! 🙂
Simply brilliant. Those last two lines… (Those first two lines–that has Actually Happened to Me.)
Thank you! And, seriously? I love bats, but not so much when they’re in my bedroom. 🙂
What are the chances that we both thought of bats!? I love this piece, Suzanne. There is so much meaning, so much happening there, yet you reveal it subtly as always. Love that!
Great minds? 😉
Thank you for your great comment!
The repetition of the word you at the end felt like the narrator was in my face. The title is my favorite detail of your piece — reinforcing that the relationship and the bat’s life are finished and highlighting the rhythm of the language. Most excellent.
Thanks for your great comment, Nate! I’m glad you felt that way about the narrator – that was exactly what I was going for.
I love all the things these short comments could reveal about their relationship, and the “It’s over,” especially.
Thank you so much, Marcy! 🙂
Agree with Stacie. You nailed it. Telling two stories here in just 42 words. Applause! Applause!!
Aw, thanks Genna! 🙂
Two different stories, nailed with the precision of a bat in flight. But a person who can sleep with a bat in the room needs to sleep alone, don’t you think?
Yes, I do. 🙂
I kind of like the grim undertones of this piece, Suzanne. That intervention sounds pretty scary!
Thanks Shailaja! I think the intervention was more necessity – putting dying things out of their misery, so to speak. 🙂